In times of uncertainty, I find myself consumed by the fear of regret. I’m one of the most indecisive people I know (I can’t even decide if that statement is true enough to let Daniel publish it, which means it definitely is). I can drive myself crazy sometimes, weighing options and mentally sorting through pros and cons of major (...and less major) decisions. I ask people for advice and imagine every way a particular situation could play out. Maybe I’m exposing myself in a way that seems dramatic or unrelatable, but what I’m trying to say is this: decisions are hard. And I’ve begun to realize that it isn’t the moment of decision that really scares me, it’s the potential for a resulting moment of regret.
I’m pretty curious about regret, as a concept. Wishing we had done things differently can be extremely painful. Even without having experienced life-altering regret, I find myself motivated by the desire to avoid the feeling, which I perceive as the worst one we can inflict upon ourselves - grieving what could have been.
I’ve gone through a lot of stages in life, thinking I knew exactly who I wanted to become. At age three, I was certain I wanted to be a dolphin. At ten, I wanted to win American Idol. At fifteen, I wanted to marry Louis Tomlinson. For a few months in my senior year of high school, I wanted to be a fashion designer and chose a college major based on the idea. The point is, things change, even when we’re convinced they won’t. We make decisions based on what we know in the moment with no telling whether we’ll regret them later.
I wonder if I’ll regret spending four years in a major that I know means very little to me. But maybe it will lead to opportunities that mean very much to me. Perhaps someday I’ll really wish I had told my crush I liked him today. But perhaps I’ll tell him tomorrow and then someday we’ll travel to Barcelona together (Paris isn’t my city of love, sorry) (not sorry).
I sometimes think about how awful it would be to learn I had only a few weeks to live. I don’t specifically mean experiencing this as a twenty-something; I’m just referring to the awareness that life is coming to an end - tangible mortality. While I hope this would be a time of gratitude for life’s blessings, I‘m sure it would also stir up thoughts of all the ways life fell short of, met, and exceeded one’s expectations. I think that’s why we place so much value on people’s last words - the ones they think are worthy of their final breath. What would be on your mind as you literally felt yourself slipping away? How would your life choices and experiences culminate into something meaningful to leave with your loved ones?
As a senior in college evaluating decisions about the future, I feel a lot of pressure to make the right choices about my career, family life, and the impact I want to make on those around me. While the fear of regret can be overwhelming, and indecisiveness can feel like a burden, I think wondering about how decisions might cause regret is a powerful tool for making good ones. In the end, we can’t be every person we’ve ever envisioned ourselves becoming. We will probably have regrets throughout life (hopefully outweighed by satisfaction). This will probably continue to motivate and perplex me. I don’t have a solid conclusion, which is probably why I find the topic curious. I’m still glad you read this, though I hope you don’t regret it.
Erin Egan, North Carolina
Undecided
I’m pretty curious about regret, as a concept. Wishing we had done things differently can be extremely painful. Even without having experienced life-altering regret, I find myself motivated by the desire to avoid the feeling, which I perceive as the worst one we can inflict upon ourselves - grieving what could have been.
I’ve gone through a lot of stages in life, thinking I knew exactly who I wanted to become. At age three, I was certain I wanted to be a dolphin. At ten, I wanted to win American Idol. At fifteen, I wanted to marry Louis Tomlinson. For a few months in my senior year of high school, I wanted to be a fashion designer and chose a college major based on the idea. The point is, things change, even when we’re convinced they won’t. We make decisions based on what we know in the moment with no telling whether we’ll regret them later.
I wonder if I’ll regret spending four years in a major that I know means very little to me. But maybe it will lead to opportunities that mean very much to me. Perhaps someday I’ll really wish I had told my crush I liked him today. But perhaps I’ll tell him tomorrow and then someday we’ll travel to Barcelona together (Paris isn’t my city of love, sorry) (not sorry).
I sometimes think about how awful it would be to learn I had only a few weeks to live. I don’t specifically mean experiencing this as a twenty-something; I’m just referring to the awareness that life is coming to an end - tangible mortality. While I hope this would be a time of gratitude for life’s blessings, I‘m sure it would also stir up thoughts of all the ways life fell short of, met, and exceeded one’s expectations. I think that’s why we place so much value on people’s last words - the ones they think are worthy of their final breath. What would be on your mind as you literally felt yourself slipping away? How would your life choices and experiences culminate into something meaningful to leave with your loved ones?
As a senior in college evaluating decisions about the future, I feel a lot of pressure to make the right choices about my career, family life, and the impact I want to make on those around me. While the fear of regret can be overwhelming, and indecisiveness can feel like a burden, I think wondering about how decisions might cause regret is a powerful tool for making good ones. In the end, we can’t be every person we’ve ever envisioned ourselves becoming. We will probably have regrets throughout life (hopefully outweighed by satisfaction). This will probably continue to motivate and perplex me. I don’t have a solid conclusion, which is probably why I find the topic curious. I’m still glad you read this, though I hope you don’t regret it.
Erin Egan, North Carolina
Undecided